We’re in a powerful time for transitions right now, and a lot of my clients seem to be experiencing one, so I wanted to talk to you all about them, in case you’re feeling it, too.
The manifestation of a new chapter can happen very quickly, in fact that is one of the hallmarks of how they work. Simply put, the change comes fast, and the new situation is perfect for you, even though, strangely, it’s a solution or opportunity you never could have known to seek out on purpose. It just arrives.
But that’s the manifestation of it. What happens leading up to it, is a different and sometimes painful story.
The new beginning you are traveling toward is a rebirth. You find yourself in a new place or situation, because you are no longer the person you were in your old one. You no longer have the need for the old ideas, expectations and mindsets that you had then; you’ve moved on. But that moving on doesn’t happen overnight. Every birth has a gestation period, and in this one, it is very common to experience emotional difficulties like depression, a feeling of being lost or isolated, and feeling misunderstood or invisible.
You may also notice changes in your friendships: people dropping out of your life, or a feeling from you that you no longer have much in common with people you may have known and been close to for years. Although something I see happen frequently when the new chapter is about to begin, is that people from your past resurface. Usually just for a moment, but it seems very common for this to occur.
But for today, I just want to focus on the emotional side effects of the transition, or what I call, the purge. The reason you feel this way is as practical as it is energetic and spiritual: your soul has decided it is ready for a new life for you, whether that means a new job, a new city, or just new circumstances in your life. So, it has to let go of everything it believed before, because those beliefs built that life, and it’s ready to move on from it. In order to fulfill the new one, it has to do an inventory of what’s going on inside you, and what can stay and what needs to go. A spiritual spring cleaning. In my experience (and I’ve experienced a lot of it), the most difficult days, or episodes, only last a day or two at a time, but they can occur over several months, or however long your soul needs.
It’s something you unfortunately just have to allow to happen. It’s not something you can hurry, but you also won’t mess it up. Your soul knows what it’s doing. And as miserable as it feels while it’s happening, the other side of it can feel like elation. Not just relief that that period is over, but being aware that you feel different – better – than you did before the episode. And if you’re paying attention to yourself, you’ll be aware that there are certain things you’re experiencing that are easier now than they may have ever been, before. It may be something as simple as saying no to something or someone, when before that may have felt excruciating for you to do. Or it may be finding the courage to go after something for yourself that before this, you may have completely dismissed as an option before you had a chance to even consider it.
The important thing to keep in mind is that you’re doing this to (but actually, for) yourself. Something in your old life was no longer tolerable, and a voice inside you said, “No, this is no longer acceptable. I’m ready for better.” And when your soul feels that, and really means it, the process begins. You have learned or accomplished whatever you needed to in that chapter, so you can move on. It might take a while to feel it, but it is actually cause for celebration.
When you’re in the midst of an episode during your transition, it can be difficult to be in the moment and work with it the way you would like to. Your brain is looking for a reason why it feels the way it does, and will reach for anything as an answer, and try to convince you that’s what’s going on, which is why for those who suffer depression during that time, it can be confusing.
But if you can be mindful of it when these days come up for you, try at least to remember self-care. This will pass. The kinder you can be to yourself while it’s happening, the more smoothly it will go, and the more aware you will be of the rainbow after the storm.
Comments